Exhaustion

Hi, firstly I just feel like I need to apologise to whoever reads my posts; I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in a few days, I’ve been extremely exhausted. It’s been busy.

So from the Wednesday night pranking for my mum’s birthday, I haven’t been able to catch up on that sleep/rest and day by day, I’ve been feeling so much more exhausted. It’s been a case of working and doing whatever I needed to do, then mindlessly scrolling through social media or TikTok because I couldn’t even concentrate on the basic things.

I’ve wanted to write blog posts, but my brain wasn’t functioning all that well to put two sentences together. I didn’t know what to write, even though I had plenty to write about.

Thursday morning I had work, after being up until 3am pranking my mum. In the evening we went for a BBQ for her birthday.

Friday morning, I had counselling. I don’t cry. It’s an emotion that’s hard for me to express, but three times during the session, I felt like I was about to burst out crying; this wasn’t 100% because of the things we were talking about, part of it was just because it was really relaxed, I wasn’t worrying about who I was or how I should act, and my brain decided it was the perfect time to cry. I think that if in that moment, someone wrapped a blanket round me and hugged me, I would’ve balled my eyes out. I would’ve lost all of that control and I would’ve broke. I didn’t cry, I managed to stay strong enough to hold myself together.

After counselling, me and my sister were meant to go for a jog, I got to my sister’s house and she wasn’t awake, she wasn’t feeling too good so it never happened. We just watched a bit of TV then I got ready and went to work. Again, all of this whilst being so exhausted. Friday evening, me and B watched a lot of TV – Falcon and Winter Soldier, The Circle and Gogglebox.

Saturday, we went for a walk and picnic at Alton Towers Gardens with my parents, brother, sister and brother-in-law – again another celebration for my mum’s birthday. I live pretty close, it’s something I’ve done a lot before, I don’t find the gardens that exciting but it was the first time for my parents. After that, we had to go to B’s parents. B needed to pick some things up, we were only meant to be there 10-20 mins and ended up being there an hour!

Once we got home, I had a power nap on the chair whilst waiting for a Chinese Takeaway to be delivered. We watched Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway, an episode of Canada’s Drag Race and then got ourselves an early night.

I finally slept really well and long enough to wake up this morning feeling refreshed and awake. I feel good. I’m in the mood to do quite a lot of cleaning today. So it seems like it will be a good day.