First Time 5k runner

Saturday 27th March

Today has been a good day. I had yesterday and today off work and feel quite rested. Yesterday I felt really emotional and low, did some exercise, but generally had a bit of a bad day with things not going right and being exhausted. Today was a lot better.

I didn’t really have plans today, so it was a rest day. I watched a few episodes of Ghost Adventures, and binged the latest series of Brooklyn 99 on Netflix. B and I also decided to order an Indian Takeaway which was lovely.

Also today, we gave Ron’s cage a bit of a clean and I made him a toilet roll tube, seed boredom breaker, and he absolutely loves it.

Recipe for the hamster treat:

• Get a toilet roll tube, or something to stick seeds on

• Mix plain flour with water until it becomes a paste

• Stick on seeds and put in fridge to set

So yeah, nothing spectacular happened but it has been a lovely, chilled day.

THREE POSITIVES FROM TODAY:

1. I binge watched Brooklyn 99 season 7

2. I made a boredom’s breaker for Ron that he loves

3. Today was relaxing

An Overactive Brain

I am waking up, this morning feeling very tearful and emotional.

I had counselling yesterday, and we talked about the beliefs I have about myself, and about how I feel others view me. How people can’t genuinely like me, or be nice to me, that there must be a motive behind it.

We talked about where those beliefs come from, why they are there, and how I’ve got to change them.

It feels very emotional to see things differently; to see that maybe people do like me, when they say they enjoy working with me that they mean it. They don’t see that I’m a disgusting person, they don’t see that frizzy baby hair as being a mess, but just see it as hair. They don’t think I’m a horrible person. They can’t see anything or know anything about my past just because I’m stood there, they aren’t repulsed by me.

They can’t know anything about me, about my past so they don’t see me as disgusting as I feel.

I wish a mirror could show you how others see you, so that I could know what I look like to other people. So I don’t have to question what goes on in other people’s minds.

It’s just emotional.

Thursday 25th March

Today was, again, a tired day. I’m physically and mentally exhausted right now and any little energy I have, gets drained quicker than an iPhone when there’s a new release 😝

I had work this morning, which meant I was on a close last night and open this morning, and that is hell! Work itself wasn’t bad, I just wasn’t feeling it. I wanted to still be in bed.

After work, I had counselling and my brain decided it was a session for going off-topic. I’d talk about something then completely change topic when I thought something I didn’t want to think or if I felt like I was getting too upset. It’s something I do a lot, but can’t seem to stop. PLUS ngl I was hungry and was really anxious my stomach was gonna growl. I did accept a drink though- which is massive thing for me. I won’t accept drinks from people, there are issues I have with doing that, it makes me feel awful, and anxious and it takes a lot for me to accept a drink, even more to ask for one. But being at work all day, I hadn’t had anything more than a sip of water and I was THIRSTY!

I’ve come home, cooked a stir fry which was absolutely amazingly delicious. I’ve got my Christmas pjs on to just chill in and I’ve sat and relaxed which has been nice.

I’ve also tried to organise pranks for my mum’s birthday with my sister. My mum turns 50 on April Fools Day so we plan on going to her house in the night and setting up a lot of pranks. It’s been quite fun thinking of things we can do, although T thinks of outrageous, awful things and my thoughts are more like filling her living room with balloons.

I’ve had some hamster play time with Ron and I’m gonna watch The Circle and go to bed.

THREE POSITIVES FROM TODAY:

1. I got through the day despite being in pain and exhausted.

2. I accepted a drink at counselling

3. I had fun talking about pranking my mum on her birthday.

Wednesday 24th March

A VERY long day!!

A long shift at work again, so not much to discuss on today’s post, other than I am tired again, and so sore and achy. My whole body hurts.

THREE POSITIVES FROM TODAY:

1. I got through another long day at work

2. I lit my favourite candle

3.I managed to stand outside for some fresh air at work

Tuesday 23rd March

Today has been a LOOOOOONNNGG day!!

A 9 hour shift in retail is something else, especially with plan changes. It took so long! My feet still hurt from being stood up all day. I am tired.

During work, I had to do an announcement over the tannoy to announce a one-minute-silence, for the year lockdown of covid. Great introvert vibes right there… NOT! I hated it. It’s awkward. Kill me.

During work, I got an email from Cheerleading, letting us know when we can get back to the gym. It’s soon! Can’t wait! 😝

Once I got home from work, I had a bath with a ‘sleep easy’ bath bomb so I really hope that I sleep well tonight. B (Fiancé) then cooked me some chicken dippers and I ate them and watched The Circle ⭕️

I am completely exhausted and I can’t wait for this week to be over. Also… feet still hurt, not sure if I’ve already mentioned how sore and achy they are today 😭

THREE POSITIVES FROM TODAY:

1. I got positive cheerleading news

2. I had a lovely, relaxing bath

3. I bought a new phone case

Monday 22nd March

Today I hurt.

I woke up unmotivated for exercise today. Tired and exhausted. All noted in my earlier post.

Me and and my sister went for our run but it didn’t really happen if I’m honest. My sister has hurt her knee and so she had to stop, and I just wasn’t feeling it. Instead, I did some cheerleading workout stuff which was better than nothing.

After the workout, I went to work and managed to hit my step count at work. The work shift went okay too.

After work, I got home to a delivery of new KT tape and calf compression socks, so hopefully they will help with my pain.

THREE POSITIVES FROM TODAY:

1. I did some cheer workouts

2. I got a delivery of KT tape and compression socks

3. I had chocolate Orange cookies 🍪

No Motivation

Morning all! So I felt like I need to write this morning because I have zero motivation to do today’s Couch to 5k run. None at all.

I feel completely exhausted. I feel like I have no energy whatsoever, and it feels daunting to do the run, then to go to work this afternoon. I have long hours at work this week and my brain is saying “do you need to run as well?”

My muscles are feeling it a little bit from yesterday’s cheer sessions, especially my thighs. My whole body feels heavy.

Telling myself “I got this” and trying to make myself feel better about the run. I’ll get bag to you later with how I get on.

Thanks for reading. Please send motivational vibes

Daily Dose of Affirmation

Each day you can journey from your Alpha (it begins with you) to your Omega, which in the teachings of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, is the point …
Daily Dose of Affirmation

Gratitude will always make the worst of days a little more positive. I am grateful that I have happiness in my life, even when sometimes it doesn’t feel like I have any.

Sunday 21st March

Day off, chilled day – mostly a rest day other than cheerleading session.

I didn’t sleep very well last night, it must have been about 6/7am before I fell asleep.

I woke up around 9.30am but didn’t get out of bed until about 11.30. I just didn’t want to get out of bed.

I had a bath, cleaned out Ron’s cage (hamster), cooked dinner and then did cheerleading.

I had to take it easy at cheer because my knees are sore (hEDs) but overall it was a great session. We also had a chilled out game of 2 truths and a lie.

THREE POSITIVES FROM TODAY:

1. I cleaned out my Hamster 🐹

2. I’ve done quite a few things despite lack of sleep

3. Cheerleading was fun

Saturday 20th March

Can I begin with telling you how tired I’m feeling – and that mentioning I’m tired might be a theme in this blog post.

Got woken up by the fella this morning as he decided to sit on his phone, and all I could hear was him tapping away in my ear! Fuming. It’s the second time he’s done that in two days. Which is odd because he usually sleeps until quite late.

So I went to work. Work was okay although I got into an argument with a ‘Karen’ over 50p which she had apparently been overcharged 3 weeks ago. I couldn’t do anything about it at this point, there’s no proof she got overcharged. And it was 50p for Christ sake! Like who complains about 50p.

Anyway, other than the ‘Karen’ incident work was okay.

I’ve come home, watched Saturday Night Takeaway and Drag Race, had a KFC and just chilled, struggling to stay awake.

I’m also going to struggle to come up with three positives so honestly, they might end up being repeated from other days.

THREE POSITIVES FROM TODAY:

1. I’ve managed to keep blogging and post at least one post a day.

2. I had a KFC for tea (dinner if you’re from the south)

3. I have had a chilled evening