I am waking up, this morning feeling very tearful and emotional.
I had counselling yesterday, and we talked about the beliefs I have about myself, and about how I feel others view me. How people can’t genuinely like me, or be nice to me, that there must be a motive behind it.
We talked about where those beliefs come from, why they are there, and how I’ve got to change them.
It feels very emotional to see things differently; to see that maybe people do like me, when they say they enjoy working with me that they mean it. They don’t see that I’m a disgusting person, they don’t see that frizzy baby hair as being a mess, but just see it as hair. They don’t think I’m a horrible person. They can’t see anything or know anything about my past just because I’m stood there, they aren’t repulsed by me.
They can’t know anything about me, about my past so they don’t see me as disgusting as I feel.
I wish a mirror could show you how others see you, so that I could know what I look like to other people. So I don’t have to question what goes on in other people’s minds.
It’s just emotional.
First Time 5k runner 